Chapter 307
EMILY
“Let me see,” Axel says gently, pulling my hands from where I’ve tucked them against myself.
They’re all cut up and bloody, but the slices are superficial, so they’ll probably heal easily enough.
Axel, however, rips the bottom of his shirt and then gently winds the material around the worst cuts, stemming the last of the trickling blood.
“Thank you,” I murmur, my voice hoarse. “I don’t know why I did that.”
It’s the truth.
The way I lost control scares me.
It was kind of frightening the way the emotions just overwhelmed me like that and I had to do something, anything
to let them out.
I only wish no one else had witnessed it.
Axel has seen sides of me I wish I could bury deep, never to see the light of day again.
I want me as his mate.
Someone as broken as I am.
Someone who can’t control themselves.
Someone who is dangerous and can’t even be trusted to be left
on their own.
I don’t regret attacking Leah.
She’s still the enemy after all.
I can see that, even if no one else can.
I only wish I’d bided my time and done it when we’d been alone so no one could have stopped me.
Of course, Leah is an Alpha in her own right, so maybe she would have simply killed me.
But at least I wouldn’t be living in this misery any longer.
At least I wouldn’t have to worry what will happen to me or the people I love if I fully snap one day and go rogue.
At least I wouldn’t be living in this horrible limbo.
Not just a wolf any longer.
But also not just a—
I cut the thought off before it can take hold,
I can’t even face what was done to me.
What I’ve become.
Instead, I force myself to focus on the here and now.
Now that Axel is simply holding me–not trying to control me- his touch and presence is easing the wildness inside me.
The storm has calmed and drained away.
I lean into him, letting his strength and solid presence soothe me in a way I probably shouldn’t let it since he’s not my mate.
We sit like that for a few silent minutes, and it’s exactly what I need.
But part of me wishes this was real.
That Axel was holding me because he was my mate and he loved
- me.
The way his touch is so gentle, I can almost believe the fantasy of it.
I know I shouldn’t, but I’m already feeling so weak and exhausted from running the gamut of emotions just now–and from everything that’s happened since I stepped out of that isolated house last week–that I give in to temptation and slip my arms around him.
For a second, he stills, and I hold my breath, waiting for him to thrust me away or shout at ime.
Instead, he holds me in return, and I breathe a sigh of relief.
I rest my cheek against his shoulder and let my eyes slide closed.
Just for this second, I’m going to believe the lie.
That eventually I’ll be okay, and that I’ll have someone like Axel to love me, and protect me, and hold me when the world seems too hard. That eventually I’ll be me again. Strong and capable and able to love myself.
After a few long moments that might be the closest I’ve come to happiness and true relief for over ten years, Axel lifts a hand and smooths it over my hair.
“Feeling better now?” he asks in a low tone, his voice a pleasant rumble.
I nod and then lean back so I can look up at him.
“I’m sorry…thank you for taking care of me,” I whisper, feeling shame heat my cheeks at the way I lost control.
“Emily,” he says, frowning a little, and I shiver at the way he says my name. “What happened? The way you hate Leah, it seems like more than just the fact that she’s the daughter of your pack’s enemy.”
glance away, my first instinct to tell him a lie, telling him nothing.
But I find I don’t want to.
I don’t want to be alone in this any longer.
“Leah is the reason I was abducted.”
