Chapter 108
Going back to Aaron’s pack after this time apart feels strange.
And a lot like coming home.
We’re quiet for most of the ride.
It’s pitch black save for the headlights on the vehicles and these backcountry roads are virtually deserted. We’ve nearly
hit a few deer already, and I know Cedric is hoping we do. He
loves fresh venison.
“Take a run when you get home if you’re that hungry,” Aaron warns him. “But don’t dent another truck.”
The guys chuckle. William glances at us in the backseat. “I offered to drive.”
“No. You’re slow as f**k,” Cedric argues. “We wouldn’t make it
home til next week.”
They continue to rib each other goodnaturedly.
There is an ease among them, and even I feel more comfortable amid Aaron’s guys, which is surprising to say the least. They never really welcomed me in the past. I’ve always
felt like an outsider.
Maybe it’s the way Aaron has changed toward me.
Maybe it’s just that these wolves are a ‘known’ evil.
Or it could just be that I am a bigger threat to my own pack
than theirs, comparatively.
But whatever the reason, I feel lighter than I have in a week.
Cedric glances in the rearview. “Lucas is slow too.”
The other vehicles are behind us, but I can see their headlights in the distance. “Seeing as those SUVS have the trunks,” I say, “maybe it’s not such a bad thing that they’re obeying the speed limit.”
Cedric considers that. “Fair point,” he tells me.
I wasn’t expecting Aaron to have the two other SUVS escort us. For the event, I expected some show of force, so I wasn’t surprised when he came with a contingency of wolves, but I get the impression that he’s been more cautious as of late.
“Are the extra security measures just for my benefit?” I ask. “Or are there other things you aren’t telling me?”
He stares straight ahead. “Better safe than sorry,” he tells me.
Which doesn’t answer my question.
I roll my eyes and then glance out the window.
I’ve got enough problems on my plate, I probably shouldn’t court any extras anyway. But there is a pang of hurt. It’s brief but sharp.
At the core of …whatever our relationship is…there has never
been trust.
Power and privilege.
Motives and agendas.
Passion and pain.
I wonder if this is all we are capable of.
It might be nice to live in mediocrity, to have some boring existence without the drama or extremes. It doesn’t suit Aaron. He’s made for bigger things. But me…I wouldn’t mind a quiet home. A family.
I could live without the fighting and drama.
I try to make sense of everything that happened tonight, but it
drags me into the kind of me ntal gymnastics that give me a
headache and make me want to curl up in a ball and sleep.
I want to live.
I want my child to survive.
But now it’s not just my own body out to end me, but the Council, any number of wolves that covet my pack, and the proposition of trying to transition.
I rub my eyes.
‘Relax Leah,” he whispers. “Sleep.”
He slings his arm around me and though I’ve done a good job of keeping the distance between us, I let him draw me in.
My head finds his shoulder and I close my eyes. “We still have to talk about all of this.”
“I know.” Then he says softly, “I don’t want to fight, honey.”
But a fight is likely going to be inevitable. Because what I want. What I plan to do…Aaron will never agree.
